Sure, i love kpop. But i don’t go crazy over it anymore. I dont exactly spaz as much anymore. Somehow it’s a very natural part of my life now, but i won’t say i can’t do without it. I definitely can survive without it, of course. But it somehow integrated into my life so naturally that it’s gonna be really weird without kpop. Let’s just say, i’ll be pretty much clueless and aimless? If im totally banned from kpop, i will feel empty. I won’t have anything to do.

I guess i understand how annoying it is for those people who were into kpop much much earlier to witness the start of another kwave. A much stronger one.

As much as i like kpop, i really dont like how people like to perform so many kpop related stuffs nowadays. I mean dancing is fine i guess.. But some people just.. urgh.

“Let the pain remain for a while and let the tears fall as they please. And after all that, move on and find your place in this world where you will find the person who wouldn’t talk to you as if nothing is wrong but the person who would talk to you and make you feel that everything is going to be all right.”
— Joe D’ Mango 

What a burdensome life ;_; Lulz im not being emo. But it’s just. When you want to make a decision, or when you have to, there are so many factors that you’ve to consider! Ite the decision you make is not even what exactly you want. What’s the freaking point man. It’s like living half your life for yourself and half your life for others. But i guess.. yeah you kind of owe your life to others.

And to those people who are lamenting about how joejang’s tattoo doesnt include HoMin. Get a life okay. If they’re happy like that, just let them be. For all you know, their names might be on his butt. He wont be showing his butt to you guys okay. G-A-F-L. OTL

On thursday (because we thought there was someone coming due to false rumours D:) we met up at the airport hehehe but ended up we had dinner tgt ^^v Van reunion feels good! (Y) Then we partied in uncle roy’s van lulz, watched Where Got Ghost! Hm watched halfway then went home alrd boooo.

Friday i woke up late!! My handphone alarm abit the sot -_- Now still like that ley, i put alarm never ring one. Hm -_- Met van babes at plaza sing, makan then uncle fetched us to airport. Waited at the cip terminal for damn long lah (well infinite and zea were supposedly having buffet inside -0-) then they finally came out. Zea’s fanservice this time round not as good alrd ley sad ttm. Apparently their driver said zea super noisy inside LOL one person start singing the other eight must sing tgt also ROFL i can ttly imagine isnt it damn cute LOLLOL. Dongwoo was freaking funny LOL he keep doing that sign thing ROFL. Then went to hotel, checked in. When we were coming down from our rooms, the lift stopped at 11th floor. Door open all of us chua tio HAHAHA freaking epic can, complete silence!! Well, that’s cause zea was waiting for the lift roflrofl i think our faces were too epic and then zea was laughing (hopefully not at us). Then i started giggling LOL it was too funny!! But seriously super coincidental ^^v And they super handsome please!! /claps. Okay then infinite and zea went to expo for their rehearsal. Dna went straight to expo after they landed at 5pm and hyunmin is super nice laaaah! Give hi-5s and stuffs, but wahlao the person he high-fived didnt even know who he was zzz next time the high5 give me k >.> And yessss karam is super duper pretty it’s abit scary lawl BUT SUPER DUPER PRETTY SRSLY O_O Jay is handsome ^^v Waited until zea came out. And as usual THEY SUPER DUPER NICEEEEE. Before they boarded their van, they walked over to my side (with very little fans), stopped and bowed. Then they walked over to the other side and did the same thing too. Which actually means my side more shiok la ^^v hahahaha MINWOO eyecandy eyecandy eyecandy!! Then they went to sarang for dinner while we went to some coffeeshop LOL uncle roy treated us. Food tasted good. Well i think it’s cause we were all starving :/ Then went back wahlao zea went to another restaurant which was actually on the same street as where infinite was at. AND WE WERE THE ONLY VAN WHO MANAGED TO CATCH UP WITH THEIR VAN ^^v so when they alighted we were the only group around /happy forever!! But after that other people found out luh :< Oh and cause we had to pee, we went to borrow toilet from this chinese restaurant which was beside a korean restaurant which we thought infinite was in. Turns out infinite was inside that chinese restaurant. LOL!! Srsly >.> and we one whole group walked in in a single file just to use the toilet LMAO what a sight. Waited till infinite came out. Before their minibus left me and wt were the only ones left there LOL cause the other fans were stalking and then uhm elaine and the others just walked away (?!!!) okay i think it’s pretty natural for us to just walk away when they board their van but the thing is that we werent even chasing infinite!! LOL. So it was damn awesome AHAHAHA seongyeol waved ^^v (well that’s because i waved first.. wtv hehe) Went back to the restaurant where zea was at and seriously the p6s are damn irritating okay!! Super duper rowdy and they do stupid stuffs like passing their zea fanboard to infinite’s guard to get him to get their autographs. Like wtf, on zea’s fanboard?! But well luckily the guard didnt allow (:< Okay so zea came out at about 11plus i think? And they were obviously drinking inside lulz someone’s (i cant rmb who :/) neck and face was freaking red!! Minwoo and dongjoon looked the most normal lulz but i rmb minwoo took off his blue jacket :> Back to hotel, bathed then edwin fetched us to airport for fti’s arrival. They came out at about 2am i think? AND I TELL YOU OMG HONGKI WAS SUPER FRIENDLY FREAKING UNEXPECTED PLEASE. Edwin’s hdtv ftw (Y) We played their performances and mvs and stuffs lulz hongki really liked it -_- And then he responded to iPad too ;> Jonghun looked up a few times to look at the tv ROFL ROFL Seunghyun was kind of hidden :< Minhwan and jaejin were nice too HAHAHA okay so now you know fti’s super nice at night. I mean. At 2am. LOL. Then we went down to the gym to play. Then got security guard and coordi nuna came O_O They stood outside the gym and discussed something rofl. So we thought they were gonna chase us out so we went out, but then we asked the guard if we werent supposed to be there, then he said he didnt say so, so we went back in. Then awhile later a nice guy from the hotel came and told us bullz about not proper outfit and stuffs LOL so obvious is just want to chase us out lah -_- So we waited at the swimming pool (which is outside the gym) We sprawled on the seats until super nice prz. Then at about 3 plus hongki and jonghun and some random guy came down LOL. We just continued sprawling on our seats and see them walk past -_- Then after awhile jaejin came down!! He tied his fringe LAWL and his clothes were abit weird. Alexia was still saying “hm got a weird guy” HAHAHA. But i think jaejin came down to play can -_- He run for less than 5 minutes then stop alrd LOL then he started playing with the yoga ball HAHAHA and his ponytail is srsly damn cute. Then jonghun walked out alone o_o Hahaha he super daring but then he got scary aura!! Then afterwards they all left the gym tgt, got some other fans approached them to give them gifts, but hongki and jonghun kind of like totally daoed the fans LOL (Y). Hongki pointed to jaejin then the fans no choice had to go to him :/ Hahaha poor goat. Slept at about 4 plus 5?? Or something? Lulz then woke up about 1 hour plus later.

Hm saturday morning went for breakfast, then went back to hotel. Zea went to OC again -0- Then we went back to the hotel. Waited and then went airport to wait for the 3 big shots. Aiyah too ambitious alrd :/ So never see anything :< But we were damn close to snsd prz!! :< Went to expo halfdead -_- Walked from hall2 to hall6 then walked back again almost died prz lulz. THE CONCERT WAS FREAKING AWESOME. It was dominated by sones LOL. First performance was fti, good like always, :> Sound system sucked but hehehe minhwan’s drumming (Y)!! And he took off his blazer (it was a blazer right?) Hongki too HAHAHA (no wonder he went to gym right LOL) After fti was uh infinite (or was it dna? :/) Myungsoo super duper smiley freaking cute :3 And infinite’s really really guuuud!! Then dna! D-NA’s live is really really awesome okeh! I think they sang super well ^^v Got potential, but aishhh their company like abit fail ley :< We all wanted the chair performance but dont have LOLLLL. Then zea omg HAHAHA MINWOO CAME OVER TO MY SIDE (tstage) I TELL YOU I SUPER HIGHHHHH hahahahahah /goes mad. Then i saw him do his flip with the binoculars (Y)(Y) HAHAHA thank god for v’s binoculars. Super clear ahahaha. Then it was SHINee. Well as expected everybody stood up (i really really didnt want to stand on chairs D:) their performance was good even without jjong :> Onew’s mistake was cute tho, srsly, hahaha. And taemin improved so so so so much. :’D Then it was snsd! I enjoyed myself ALOT, idek why, but it was fun! THEN BIG BANG I TELL YOU THEY FREAKING OWNED THE CONCERT (sorry im biased but they were really good!!) Me and elaine went in front i tell you omg i didnt know it was so close O_O!! TOP is super duper handsome seriously LOL as in i knew he was handsome and charismatic, but irl he’s really gorgeous o___o!! GD kept coming to my side (happy elaine hahaha) SOL only came to my side once ;( But most of the time he was in the middle so still quite clear hehehe. Seungri’s really good looking irl too! So sad they didnt perform sunset glowwwww :< But it’s okay!! Gara Gara Go + Number 1 + Lies + Haru Haru acoustic version + Last Farewell + How Gee + Hands Up <3 Tbh i dont really like Hands Up but of course they rocked the song ^^v Then the concert ended with We Are the World (25 for Haiti??), left halfway thru. So sad prz but omg BIG BANG WAS SO AWESOME!! Went to ec, zea was eating there (they’re forever eating LOL). And we could see them eating yknow o_o but obviously we didnt stand there and stare lah lulz we went into the van to rest >.> Hm then they came out (could smell liquor again) minwoo was like super happy. Okay actually they all were like super happy. Srsly! Minwoo smile until mouth is open one okay sounds unglam HAHAHA. Then we went back to hotel, bathed + ate. LOL brought cup noodles down to hotel lobby when we heard that dna and infinite were coming back. So yeah unglamness at hotel lobby rofl. Then got one hotel guy told me cannot eat there!! Bullz. Hm seongyeol very funny ley, we wave to him, he waved back using the hand which was holding the camcorder LOL. Then we went back, saying that we must wake up by 6am for their departure BUT WE SLEPT UNTIL LIKE 7AM -0-!! Sighs next time (OKAY NO SUCH NEXT TIME) might as well dont sleep. We’re always like that, morning flights cannot make it one leh. LOL. Beast also -_- Haiz so sad okaaaaaaay OKAY OKAY I VERY SAD NAO I DONT WANT TO TYPE ALREADY ):< I HATE WITHDRAWALS.

And regarding jonghyun and sekyung, i think they’re pretty cute tgt! I mean they do look a little awkward LOL but i think quite cute whut!! Seriously crazy fans should get a life >.> You mean you expect jjong to stay single forever?! He’s tgt with his ideal girl leh!! Be happy for him lah! And it’s like, idols are not obliged to stay single because of us fans. If fans can get themselves a girlfriend/boyfriend, then why cant the idols? And even if they remain single, it’s not like you butthurt fans will become their other half. So yeah -0- If you really love jjong, respect him. Stop bashing sekyung cause that’ll make jonghyun pissed and unhappy -_- And sekyung is pretty (and uhm pretty sexy LOL oh that butt O_O). Well no matter what, jjong dating sekyung is better than like uh, idk some random founder of some shinee fansite right -_-

So yeah, the first thing you think about Koreans is that the majority of them have undergone plastic surgery.
AND SO WHAT.
It’s not gonna affect their character so idk whats there to stereotype about.
Buzz off and get your friggin’ life if you have problems about that. Anyway seriously, if you have issues about them having plastic surgery, (like idk how many times ive said) don’t get braces, don’t dye your hair, don’t put makeup -0-

And get your damned facts clear, getting plastic surgery doesnt mean changing your whole face like wearing a mask and looking completely different -_______-

Hehehe okay that aside
EOYs ARE STARTING TOMORROW -bawls- ;__;
But on the bright side.. it’s gonna be over soon!! Two weeks B) (Well, in the meantime there’s gonna be JYJ so i guess it wont be that bad ) And then it’ll be kpop night OMG ZEA OMG OMG MINWOO ^^ -bounces- YESYES MINWOO I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN <3 Then it will be gcp (i hope i’ll be able to get cheap stuffs from beijing ). Then it will be kaoji (shit man i should just kill myself) -0-!! Then mnet woohoo mblaq :3 Kay then mundane life -_- Rofl

Oh yes have i ever mentioned.. okay nevermind hehehe byebye

BUT OH WHAT THE FUCK MAN. YOU DONT WANNA VOTE CAUSE YOU CANT MAKE IT? YOU’RE DEPRIVING OTHERS JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN’T MAKE IT. SELFISH BITCHES >(

“they’ll come next year or something one lah!” YEAH AND HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW -0- THEY’RE NOT THE AVERAGE KPOP GROUPS OUT THERE. SOUNDS BAD, BUT YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS GONNA HAPPEN TO THEM NEXT YEAR. DO YOU KNOW WHAT COMPANY IS GOING TO BE MANAGING THEM? NO. AND YOU DARE SAY SO CONFIDENTLY THAT THEY’LL BE COMING. AND SO WHAT IF NEXT YEAR THEY COME. IF IT CLASHES WITH SOME EXAMS OR SOMETHING. YOU SELFISH BITCHES WILL DO THE SAME THING AGAIN. And if.. just if, JYJ happens to find out that their management didnt arrange their showcase to sg cause of the lack of fans’ responses, you think the chances of them coming will be big? -.-

AND SERIOUSLY. I THINK YOU ARE NOT GOING CAUSE YOU ARE PATHETIC. SORRY. BUT TO ME, I DONT THINK THAT FEW HOURS IS GONNA MAKE YOUR GRADE DROP FROM A A1 TO A C6. YOU KNOW, JUST STUDY HARDER NOW AND STOP SLACKING SO MUCH. THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF YOUR SLACKING HOURS IS PROLLY MORE THAN THE DURATION OF THE SHOWCASE. IF YOU’RE A SEC 4 OR SOMEONE WHO IS TAKING LIKE A REALLY MAJOR EXAM, THEN OKAY I WONT BLAME YOU. BUT HONESTLY, IF YOU’RE NOT, IDK WHY THE HELL YOU ARE NOT GOING CAUSE YOU’RE SCARED IT’S GONNA “AFFECT YOUR RESULTS”. JUST DONT SHIT FOR 3 DAYS AND SKIP 3 MEALS AND SLEEP AN HOUR LESS. THAT’S GONNA MAKE UP FOR IT OKAY. -_- PATHETIC SELFISH SOULS.

If people who are not fans can just “waste” 10 seconds of their life by pressing “yes” for the poll, i honestly don’t understand why fans (.. well that’s what they call themselves) can’t. It’s just too selfish. :’(

And if you think it’s wrong to press “yes” if you’re not attending, then let me tell you. It’s not like the overseas fans who are helping to vote are gonna fly over for their showcase in singapore. It’s not like my friends who are not fans are gonna go. The number of votes is increasing so slowly cause there’s really very little people online now. Everyone’s studying for exams.. and hardcore kpop fans are at g.na’s event. Plus very little people know about this. You don’t have to doubt the number of cassies in singapore. Just look at the poll at sistic website. Sighs.

I AM DISAPPOINTED. And pissed at some. But okay whatever i feel better now heh.

Edit: Just to clarify, i wasn’t angry cause JYJ won’t come if those selfish people won’t vote. It’s because .. somehow, ive always believed that Cassies wouldnt be so selfish. Too naive i guess? People all have that.. bad side. It only depends on what kind of situation it is for them to show it, right? Tbh, i really wont mind if JYJ wont come. Sure i will be disappointed, but i wont blame it on people cause they’re not coming. To emphasize again, i was feeling angry cause of how selfish people are. Okay. Yeah. I feel slightly better now, after talking to people like elaine and yueling (: While listening to beast’s songs (Y)

Anyway, ZE:A came on thurs night hoooola. Went down to airport tgt with kc, 7 of them (minus leader + maknae) came out first. Then they went to hotel. After that we went back to airport for leader and maknae. Leader and maknae were awesome (the other 7 too actl, but their fanservice not as much as leader and maknae leh LOL). Formed human barricade for them, quite successful in a way cause they were actl quite well-protected. They were super friendly laaaa dongjun wrote message for us leh. I mean the fans who were chasing lah. (Clarify, in case SOME PEOPLE say i delusional) ;___; and then at hotel they walk slowly and took their time to wave everywhere (i mean, at the fans of course). But the number of fans quite little i think, compared to beast and yeah.

Next day they were supposed to come out and shop but they didnt cause it rained i think. So they only came out after their press conf which ended at idk, 5pm/6pm? Which means i studied from like 12pm to 7pm (cause they came out at 7pm) -_- But i honestly did alot of bio! Elaine ttly failed at her studying attempt -_- ZE:A went to centrepoint (OF ALL PLACES RIGHT? IK, Sony is like -___-). They makaned at this crystal jade ginseng chicken restaurant wapiang come singapore at least go long beach/jumbo to eat chilli crab lah! Eat chicken -___- I think the chicken in korea also nicer lor prz. Lmao. Then went back hotel, as nice as everrrr. Elaine’s ipad is super useful ;> Showed them messages (or more like questions) and they answered them ^^ Wished minwoo happy belated birthday and he nodded and smiled :> Asked them if they were not tired and they said no. We played alldaylongmv and then heechul pointed and thumbup-ed. HAHA. Oh and polaroid of dongjun + heechul. That polaroid is really super nice kehhhxz. Since it was taken WITH permission from them (uncle roy asked them LOL). And that stewpit uncle roy always attract attention xD But it’s good in a way HAHAHA he offered them fries, skittles and apple i think -_- Dongjun asked for fries and skittles HA(minwoo)HA(minwoo)HA(minwoo) (: Maknae’s fanservice is honestly the best. Plus he’s super cute lulz.

Saturday was their showcase day, went to hmv to get the album with yj, then went to suntec to queue. Went down to food fair to buy food :> Yummmmy and then i did trigo! Walao i do the question halfway they suddenly move the queue, zzz. But at least i made good use of my time. If i were at home i think i would have like, watched videos and slack LOL. Waited for the singtel person to comeee, but then we were acting like we were pissed, then the counter person also got abit tired of me and yj standing there, so they allowed us to go in first. Cat 2> Cat1 ^^ Showcase was quite fun to watch. The creeper got picked and went up on stage, i ttly know why hyungsik didnt hug her ;x And just something that i noticed, minwoo is super polite. LOL. Okeh im a total minwoo stan. Even for beast i wasnt so “DOOJOON!!” yknow. Ukiss i also wasnt like “KEVIN!!”. But this time im ttly “OMG MINWOO”. :/ Anyway he’s skinny but muscular HAHA. Ignore me. But anyway handshake > autograph. :> Especially since it’s a 2 dollars handshake for me and yj >< THANK YOU JINGYI ((((: 2 dollars for a handshake and 95 cents for the uhm, showcase? LOL. Best. Then they went back to the hotel and here comes the best part HAHAHA omg (Y) Oh right, junyoung and wangwang super amusing HAHA. Okay anyway, the bus stopped outside the hotel right, then all the fans crowded at uh the left side of the bus. Then luckily kc yj and i ran over. Honestly we were the only 3 fans there ._. Then got taehun siwan and MINWOO i tell you that’s like the best omg HAHAHA but it was damn awkward. But yknow, it’s safe to say that they were waving to us only. And i think minwoo wanted to laugh at me cause my face when i realised he was there was.. uhm. Prolly not a glam sight. But anw. HEEHEEEEE. Sighs im such a fangirl i cant stand it too but honestly can you imagine your bias looking at you, smiling, waving and being so sweet for more than 20 seconds?? Lulz it was shiok ttm (: Okay im sorry taehun and siwan i dont even remember them there HAHAHA cause i was ttly focused on minwoo -sighs- Kevin saw the msg on ipad when he alighted but he didnt respond :< And we didnt show him the “KEVIN DONT SAD” msg. Aw. Then at 7pm they came out to go to the airport. Before the bus left minwoo’s fanservice was awesome ttm and his beanie ishh super duper cutexzzzzz!! Jelly got a polaroid of him ;x Then otw to airport he slept. The way he slept was roflcutenessttm. Serious lah. The way junhyung slept was like. Not cute one. HAHA. Minwoo is just plain *____* (: Stewpit elaine say she sleep on the bus also like him HAHAHA. Then they went in and they’re prolly the first group who stood in a line and bow ZZZOMG super duper nice sighssss. And they went in at like 8pm -_- First time end so early lmao. And it’s prolly the first time i felt so sad. I think it’s partially cause the next time will be kpop night, and yknow it’s back to boring life esp with eoys around zzz. Went to shaw macs to emo rofl then went home. Sighs. Saddening.

Then just now prooflabel announce zea coming back for kpop night. Wahlao. I happy that they’re coming back lah. But with 6 other groups. And im quite sure we’re gonna chase zea now ;x So my gdyb no more already lah (N) and no more seongyeol and myungsoo and sungjong (N) Sighhhhhhhhhhhs forever. This is so depressing must go and mug from today onwards alr omg so sad T__T

On a side note, it’s not like i don’t wanna tell them lor. It’s just that they always diao me. And it’s not like if they diao me i’m gonna stop doing it. So i might as well not tell them. Cause they diao me only make me feel zzz. It’s not like i insist the whole world to like kpop or something. I just want people to understand. Even if they dont. They can just leave us alone. I admit, kpop is screwing us, kinda. Cause we keep wanting more. But it’s not ruining my life. In fact it kinds of motivate me too. So whats so bad about it? D:

EDIT: OH RIGHT I FORGOT ABOUT KWANGHEE. SECOND NIGHT AFTER THEY WENT IN RIGHT, ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER(?), HE CAME OUT ALONE WITH A MANAGER TO GO BUY COFFEE LOL BEST RIGHT. We were slacking in the van. Then uncleroy say mingxing lai le. We thought he lying. But then LOL kwanghee suddenly walk pass then he stopped and like greeted our van de people LOL. Then we just. Sit there and wave. LOL. Then other fans go follow him -_- Ended up he didnt buy coffee and walk one round back to the hotel. Aw. Oh right and they bought starbucks at the airport ystd -_- HEHEE okay end of edit (:

Please SHINee, please come!! <3 Hehe \m/

And i’m missing Beast so damn badly now. I mean honestly, who bothers communicating with fans while you’re super tired? Like. They were dying of the mad heat but yoseob said he was okay and smiled And doojooooon. Ahh. And lawl dongwoon and yoseob saying that they’re not tired so they dont wanna sleep. And of course them saying that they remember us is like (Y). We were like super high prz. But i shall not say anything about it cause im quite sure people will just say we’re deluding ourselves.. and that we are just assuming stuffs. But whooo. And Lydia’s fanart flying away thing was damn epic lah HAHA and dongwoon’s face (Y) Sighs I MISS THEM SO MUCH im going to die hahahah i think this time round withdrawals worse than june’s? Actually idk la. But haha wtv.

Hee i go dig out ze:a’s info alrd k byebye. Woohoo motivation to mug for EOYs!

Please do not compare db with suju. That’s really.. (insert word here).

I mean. Fine. Suju might be the best to you and your friends like okay i dont care -.- Just dont do it in front of me, especially when you know im not going to listen to those shit and pretend that i can’t hear them.

And i honestly dont care if you feel offended or whatever like wth you mean im supposed to care? Lulz. Plus i’m quite sure it’s a “new kpop fan” thing yknow. I know people who prefers suju over db, but they do agree that db is a legend. They can never be replaced and will never be forgotten. Why feel angry that the new boy group has more members than suju? You’re bashing them even before their debut. Wth. Lol. Sorry but you just feel threatened. :>

Seriously. Pathetic.

I felt really upset for 3 minutes when there was wondergirls, snsd, suju and shinee at the SIL thing. But no db. Like yeah im mad, weird, hopeless – insult me for all you want idec. Yeah the other groups are just a craze thing, i’ll get over them when i dont watch their videos and stuffs. But db is really different. Because you know what? Even after 10 years, i will still love db. Trust me :’>

Sighs. This post is directed to different people. I hope they read it and understand that i’m referring to them. D: